September 17, 2009

flight? you mean food fight? or a pillow fight?

from the illustrious onion, tip from proud fellow FASCist (i'm going to miss you guys!) matt herbert:

highlights (and map!) below, full "article" here.

Liechtenstein, Andorra Forced To Fight By Larger Countries



HELSINKI—Members of the Group of Eight, the forum for the world's most powerful industrialized nations, held a special session Tuesday to discuss how best to prod the European microstates of Lichtenstein and Andorra into fighting.

The G8's proposal, which seeks to pit the small, landlocked principalities against each other in military combat, was reportedly drafted after the leaders of the eight nations had grown bored with their recent negotiations over international energy tariffs.

The G8 has provoked numerous international incidents in the past. In 1994, then-Japanese Prime Minister Tomiichi Murayama forced the leaders of San Marino and Monaco to run a "naked mile" behind the United Nations building. And in 2000, Russia's Vladimir Putin delighted his fellow world leaders by repeatedly asking the president of Chechnya, "Why are you bombing yourself? Why are you bombing yourself?" during a prolonged bombardment of the capital, Grozny.

In a final effort to ensure that the proposed confrontation between Liechtenstein and Andorra commenced tomorrow afternoon "without a hitch," Canadian prime minister Stephen Harper held a press conference intended to persuade the two countries.

At press time, 50,000 Andorran troops had amassed along the Rhine valley following CIA intelligence indicating that Liechtenstein had referred to the principality as "Fagdorra."

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