procrastinate like a nerd

i moved!

2009-11-23T14:09:00.002-05:00

procrastinate like a nerd has moved over to tumblr. come find me there for more procrastinerding tools!

you is lion to me

2009-11-03T21:15:00.004-05:00

we all know and love the google search suggestions. you type in "what" and google suggests a variety of questions you could be asking, such as:

what is my ip?
what not to wear
what does my name mean?
what is twitter? (side note: heeeee)

hilarious and informative, i've always loved seeing what pops up even when it's completely unrelated to what i'm looking for.

slate went about this a wee bit more systematically and then wrote an article about it called "let's have fun with the google search box." the author's experiments are pretty fantastic, my fav is below, comparing two very differently worded questions that are pretty much getting at the same thing, but generate very very different responses:

and some added fun with grammar:

amazing.

Do you remember summer camp?

2009-10-30T09:36:00.002-04:00

two sad things about this email forward list. one, i chuckled. two, tuck's is painfully true.

SAMPLE MBA APPLICATION QUESTIONS

Harvard: Of which Fortune 1000 company are you going to become the CEO and why would you pick that company?

Wharton: Of which Fortune 1000 company are you going to become the CFO and why would you pick that company?

Stanford: Why? (100,000 words recommended)

Chicago Booth: Provide a detailed statistical analysis of why Chicago-Booth is #1 in BWeek and never higher than #3 in USNews. Do the math in your head.

Columbia: In your opinion, what is the best way to sabotage the Whartonian CFO of your company and become CFO?

INSEAD: List the number of languages in which you are fluent, and explain how knowing a bunch of languages and studying in one of the world's slowest economies for ten months will make you an effective business leader.

Duke Fuqua: What are your short-term and long-term career goals? Begin your essay with the sentence, "My career goal is to provide investment and business advice to the much more successful graduates of the Duke Law and Medical Schools."

Tuck: Do you remember summer camp? How amazing was that!?!? Don't you wish you could go to camp for 21 months? Attach a letter you wrote to your parents in fifth grade summer camp explaining how awesome it was.

making the office funny again, since 2009.

2009-10-30T09:28:00.001-04:00

watch out, this song will be stuck in your head forever.

this i bad sorry to saY

2009-10-25T11:41:00.001-04:00

a challenge from mcsweeney's:

YOUTUBE COMMENT OR

E. E. CUMMINGS?

BY FRANÇOIS VINCENT

- - - -

1. loog a his lirow nose

2. there is some shit I will not eat

3. LISN bud LISN

4. this i bad sorry to saY

5. leave her alone
she's not your gal

6. She is Lucifierian !

7. THuNdeRB
loSSo!M iN

8. aThe):l

9. stunned. i. am. stunned. every question speaks to us

10. What is nothing?

YouTube comment: 1, 4, 6, 9, 10
e. e. cummings: 2, 3, 5, 7, 8

that's a socialist mop. best line ever?

2009-10-17T09:46:00.002-04:00

What I reject is when some folks say we should go back to the past policies when it was those very same policies that got us into this mess in the first place. Another way of putting it is when, you know, I'm busy and Nancy is busy with our mop cleaning up somebody else's mess --- we don't want somebody sitting back saying, you're not holding the mop the right way. (Applause.) You're not mopping fast enough. (Laughter.) That's a socialist mop. (Laughter and applause.) Grab a mop -- let's get to work.

-- Obama

freeeeedom & a free track.

2009-10-08T16:01:00.002-04:00

i am thoroughly enjoying my freedom, wasting my time scouring the internets. buying snow tires, internet shopping for patagonia parkas, grossing myself out with my new-found Vermont-level crunchiness. apparently, it's contagious.

but i also found, a new Vampire Weekend track for free download! it's the first track from their upcoming January-release album, Contra, and i know, i know. everyone is so over vampire weekend. but whatever, i kind of love this song. so go download it.

this may be the most profoundly disturbing thing i have ever seen.

2009-10-07T12:28:00.002-04:00

i have been in a grad school finals-time bubble for the last few weeks, so i only just realized this was happening.

tom delay. on dancing with the stars. WAIT, THE TOM DELAY?

oh oh yes, that one. just watch, and try to keep your lunch down.

there are multiple classes! like topiary and...general volume.

2009-09-20T20:51:00.002-04:00

had an amazing day of ice cream and rock-skipping with some of the greatest girls in the whole wide world today, and so of course, the world beard & mustache championships were discussed.

first ran across these last year, when the website brought joy to my dark days of econometrics studying. a few pictures of my favorite contestants below, but the entire website (particularly the bios of the contestants) is definitely worth a look.

i am just so happy that these men exist. i feel like they make the world a happier place.

flight? you mean food fight? or a pillow fight?

2009-09-17T21:15:00.003-04:00

from the illustrious onion, tip from proud fellow FASCist (i'm going to miss you guys!) matt herbert:

highlights (and map!) below, full "article" here.

Liechtenstein, Andorra Forced To Fight By Larger Countries

HELSINKI—Members of the Group of Eight, the forum for the world's most powerful industrialized nations, held a special session Tuesday to discuss how best to prod the European microstates of Lichtenstein and Andorra into fighting.

The G8's proposal, which seeks to pit the small, landlocked principalities against each other in military combat, was reportedly drafted after the leaders of the eight nations had grown bored with their recent negotiations over international energy tariffs.

The G8 has provoked numerous international incidents in the past. In 1994, then-Japanese Prime Minister Tomiichi Murayama forced the leaders of San Marino and Monaco to run a "naked mile" behind the United Nations building. And in 2000, Russia's Vladimir Putin delighted his fellow world leaders by repeatedly asking the president of Chechnya, "Why are you bombing yourself? Why are you bombing yourself?" during a prolonged bombardment of the capital, Grozny.

In a final effort to ensure that the proposed confrontation between Liechtenstein and Andorra commenced tomorrow afternoon "without a hitch," Canadian prime minister Stephen Harper held a press conference intended to persuade the two countries.

At press time, 50,000 Andorran troops had amassed along the Rhine valley following CIA intelligence indicating that Liechtenstein had referred to the principality as "Fagdorra."

in which gawker calls kanye a dick, and obama calls him a jackass.

2009-09-15T19:37:00.005-04:00

remember when kanye said THIS about wanting people to realize he's not "actually a huge douche?"

remember when he continued his grand douchiness by doing THIS to taylor swift at the VMAs?

never fear, obama's here. and he calls kanye a jackass. it's a bit hilarious, and i continue to be jealous of the white house press corps.

you guys, my football loving heart.

2009-09-12T13:12:00.002-04:00

TOM BRADY IS BAAAAACK. And being adorable. Interview below, I may have held my hand over my heart the entire time I watched it.

FYI: The Pats season opener is against the Bills on Monday Night. Can. Not. Wait.

joe wilson, you poor bastard.

2009-09-10T13:42:00.003-04:00

hi-larious. let's kick his ass.

JOE WILSON HEATED UP LEFTOVER FISH IN YOUR OFFICE'S MICROWAVE.

JOE WILSON SUED YOUR GRANDMA FOR FILESHARING.

you still can't buy bottles with starwood points.

2009-09-05T17:02:00.003-04:00

in honor of b-school, one of my fav videos of all time. i think i laughed so hard i cried the first time i saw this, which i'm pretty sure makes me a giant nerd.

young turks, sowing their wild oats.

2009-08-30T16:46:00.002-04:00

first off, i'm back! after a nomadic month, i am back in the US and back in front of my computer, where i belong.

many a ridiculous news story have happened in the interim, but let's start off with this one: the island nation of turks & caicos getting into trouble with mommy and getting their independence revoked.

apparently, the UK is thinking about giving them away to the bahamas or jamaica...or canada? I had no idea this type of stuff was possible.

Save the Axolotl!!!!

2009-08-27T04:14:00.002-04:00

I have a hunch that this little guy, found in the wilds of Mexico, is the world's answer to "what is an amazing sea monkey anyway???", a question that I'm sure we've all been asking for years. Unfortunately, like millions of other species, the Axolotl's existence is threatened due to poor water quality. Apparently it can't even be reintroduced into other countries because of a feared massive Axolotl take over!

On a more positive note, and as a reason to champion the Axolotl's survival, the best thing about the Axolotl is that it never grows out of the larva stage! It's like he/she takes a peak at the world and decides, nah, I'd rather just stay here, and unlike us, can stay! And of course, it's adorable (because I, like the rest of us, only want to save adorable things).

Source: BBC News

First entry and it's about dogs!

2009-08-15T20:14:00.003-04:00

I was planning on some ceremonial first blog entry but I just have to share immediately! This article from National Geographic (there's sound and a video clip so beware on opening at work or late at night while your windows are open and your neighbors can hear... not that anyone would ever do that) is amaaazing! Dogs can sniff out cancer? and apparently monitor sugar levels? I want one even more!

Democracy depends on you and that's why our troops are willing to die for you. So how about in honor of the American soldier ya quit making things up?

2009-07-28T11:46:00.004-04:00

Oh man, this happened and I'm pretty sure the world is a better place because of it.

AND, apparently, this also happened:

"The world is literally her oyster." - Meg Stapleton, spokeswoman for Sarah Palin

Hahahahaha. On the one hand, as a woman, it pains me to see these two morons being presented as real professionals on the national stage. But on the other hand, its so damn funny that I don't even care.

Video Recaps Full Episodes Webisodes

a hearty welcome for a new procrastinerd!

2009-07-28T04:39:00.004-04:00

meet caroline, procrastinate like a nerd's new european animal legal rights correspondent. she will be posting here to keep us up-to-date on the legal battles of nature's finest here on the continent. or, you know, other things.

one of four celebrities i regret not tackling onto the new york city sidewalks.

2009-07-24T11:15:00.004-04:00

will arnett. my love for him knows few bounds, but just when i think i can't love him anymore, he ups his hilarity by doing this, and i practically injure myself trying not to laugh at my desk:

[sidenote: is it just me, or is jimmy fallon's show pretty good?]

[sidenote 2: holy crap, he also has one with benjamin linus. amazing.]

Video Recaps Full Episodes Webisodes

these people make me want to vomit.

2009-07-23T07:05:00.003-04:00

and unfortunately, "these people" are not only comprised of internet crazies and fox news nutjobs, but are include half of the soon-to-be utterly worthless cnn. thankfully, we still have jon stewart.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

The Born Identity

http://www.thedailyshow.com/

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Political Humor

Joke of the Day

Snoop didn't have time for all that. He spent all his time in the Young Businessman Club.

2009-07-20T05:44:00.004-04:00

this definitely brightened up a rough monday morning here in paris.

the 10 most amazing rapper yearbook photos.

follow the link for the entire list. here are snoop and jay-z to tide you over.

i totally picked the wrong day to stop following sarah palin on twitter.

2009-07-16T07:38:00.007-04:00

i thought she was getting boring, but i was so so wrong. via gawker, full story here, highlights below. needless to say, i've started following her again. can't miss these gems.

we interupt your regularly scheduled programming.

2009-07-15T17:30:00.004-04:00

for some pictures! paris and the loire valley: numerous picnics, 2 sets of fireworks, and jo, the fiercest car in all the land.

Listen, I think it’s sweet that you and your partner sing to each other on television. Others may think it’s vaguely gay, but I disagree.

2009-07-13T04:32:00.002-04:00

it's a tragic circumstance that i've seen far too often in these dark days. people that i know and love, people who have otherwise fantastic cultural tastes -- people who have never seen the wonderful & amazing sports night.

it's one of my favorite tv shows ever to be tv-ed, and i just found out that it's on youtube, parceled out into 3 parts per episode. a thrilling discovery made while i was poking around for something to watch before bed that i wouldn't need to translate.

written by aaron sorkin, on abc for only two seasons in the late 1990s, and it's super smart and funny as hell.

[mini disclaimer: give the show a chance -- the pilot is a little rough at times and abc apparently insisted on including a really annoying laugh track, but it goes away after a few episodes]

anyhoo, here's a link to season 1, episode 1, part 1/3. GO WATCH IT. and then come back here and tell me how wonderful it is.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKaO-hsb3vM

who is crazier than sarah palin? maybe john mccain.

2009-07-12T19:02:00.002-04:00

oh, john mccain. if i had any respect left for you, it is now 100% gone.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

upsetting on every level possible.

2009-07-09T04:21:00.003-04:00

from gawker, this is so not ok with me.

10:04 AM
Dying Mag Pays Fortune For Dead Author's Unfinished Book

Famed literary journal and titty mag Playboy acquired the exclusive serial rights to the unfinished final novella of author Vladimir Nabokov. They won the rights with flowers! And also lots of money. And also The New Yorker turned it down.

Playboy actually first excerpted Nabokov's Ada or, Ardor back in 1969, when they were a very popular and highbrow titty mag. But the years have not been kind to Playboy, because the years invented the internet, and everyone forgot both how to read and how to masturbate to magazines.

And do you know who we don't envy? Playboy's literary editor, Amy Grace Loyd.

So. Vlad Nabokov, one of the most brilliant English-language authors ever, had not finished his last work, The Original of Laura, when he died. And he demanded that it never be published, because he was a bit of a perfectionist. Vlad's son Dmitri complied with his dad's wishes for many years, until he decided to just let it be published, because why not. So "super-agent" Andrew Wylie took over, and Amy Grave Loyd attempted to woo him with orchids, a reference to Ada.

Ms. Loyd was disappointed, figuring the honor of first serial was more likely to go to a place like The New Yorker, which had its own long history with Nabokov, and had in fact just last summer published one of his newly translated short stories. Ms. Loyd's worry was not unfounded: Mr. Wylie had indeed sent Laura to the The New Yorker months earlier. But as it happened, according to a source at the magazine, the fiction department was not interested. (Fiction editor Deborah Treisman had no comment.)

On the first of June, Mr. Wylie changed his tune and wrote to Ms. Loyd asking her what, hypothetically, Playboy would be willing to pay for an exclusive.

They were willing to pay more than they have ever paid for a book excerpt before, and they were willing to pay this much without even reading a word of it. And it kinda turns out that the book might not be very good! "There are parts of it that are much more cohesive than others. But I found it fascinating in that way," Loyd says.

But 5,000 words of The Original of Laura will run in the December Playboy, presumably next to reviews of the latest in hi-fi gear, Canadian whiskey ads, Gahan Wilson cartoons, a lengthy Q&A with Mort Sahl, and nude pictures of Barbara Carrera. Pick it up at your local newsagent!

what could make you feel worse about being $150,000 in debt? this!

2009-07-08T09:02:00.008-04:00

forbes put out a list of the best paid celebrities under 30 just to make us all feel bad about ourselves and to reveal, to my surprise at least, that britney spears still makes money ($35 million?!?). i think i just blocked her out of my pop culture consciousness.

topping the list? beyonce, who at 27-years-old (just twisting the knife a little further into my heart) earned $87 million in 2008.

as expected, a few of my new tween celeb favs make the list (along with a few of my not-so celeb favs like britney spears, miley cyrus, and lebron james. at least lindsay lohan isn't on this list, thank goodness). here are my picks, read the whole story here.

Nick, Joe and Kevin Jonas
Age: 16, 19, 21

Earnings: $25 million
The three brothers from New Jersey continue their pursuit of 'tween domination. In the past 12 months, they've starred in a movie (Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience) and television series (JONAS on the Disney Channel), released an album (A Little Bit Longer sold 500,000 copies in the first week) and toured rigorously (their "Burning Up" tour grossed $41 million across 84 concerts last year).
Up next: their fourth album and first international tour.

Daniel Radcliffe
Age: 19
Earnings: $25 million
The 19-year-old continues to rake in $25 million each time he dons his circular glasses to play Harry Potter. The sixth installment of the franchise hits theaters in late July. Radcliffe has two more films to go; the final book was split in two movies. It remains to be seen if he can become a box-office draw outside of the Warner Bros. fantasy blockbusters.

[Note: this next fav is a bit unexpected, but she & my QB Tom Brady have been adorable recently. Stories about them are some of the few grown-up celeb gossip stories I'll read anymore.]

Gisele Bundchen
Age: 28

Earnings: $25 million

The world's most famous fashion model continues to out-earn her peers. Once known as the shape of Victoria's Secret, Gisele is now the face of campaigns for Rampage, Max Factor and Ebel. She also endorses fashion brands True Religion and Versace. Gisele secretly wed long-time boyfriend, NFL quarterback Tom Brady, in February in Santa Monica, Calif.

hahahahahahahaha. break. keep going. hahahahahaha.

2009-07-01T17:11:00.004-04:00

guys, as an oddly timely follow up to today's post on sarah palin, this photo just came out from her interview with runner's world. interview here, slideshow here. but this photo, i just....this woman thinks she's running for president in 2012? are you kidding me?

also, as andrew sullivan points out, she's mistreating the flag. also note that she's holding two blackberries, there's some sort of army flag on her window, her legs are shiny and her hair's all done. freaking nut job.

little shop of horrors, wink you betcha.

2009-07-01T10:58:00.006-04:00

an eye-opening, thorough, completely damning piece by todd purdum in vanity fair today. it's absoultely astonishing just how crazy sarah palin is. democrats, pat yourselves on the back and breathe a gale-sized sigh of relief that the subject of these quotes doesn't get to enter the white house.

full text here, a few choice tidbits below:

Palin formed the grandiosely named Alaska Fund Trust, to defray a reported half million dollars in legal expenses arising from a slew of formal ethics complaints against her in her home state—prompting yet another formal complaint, that the fund itself constitutes an ethical breach. Onetime supporters have become harsh critics. Walter Hickel, 89, a former two-term governor and interior secretary, and the grand old man of Alaska politics, who was co-chair of Palin’s winning gubernatorial campaign, in 2006, now washes his hands of her. He told me simply, “I don’t give a damn what she does.”
By all accounts, Palin was either unwilling, or simply unable, to prepare. In the run-up to the Couric interview, Palin had become preoccupied with a far more parochial concern: answering a humdrum written questionnaire from her hometown newspaper, the Frontiersman. McCain aides saw it as easy stuff, the usual boilerplate, the work of 20 minutes or so, but Palin worried intently. At the same time, she grew concerned that her approval ratings back home in Alaska were sagging as she embraced the role of McCain’s bad cop. To keep her happy, the chief McCain strategist, Steve Schmidt, agreed to conduct a onetime poll of 300 Alaska voters. It would prove to Palin, Schmidt thought, that everything was all right.

“The problem was she came down from Alaska with basically Todd as a sort of trusted bellwether adviser,” one McCain friend says. “She was given this staff of 20. It was probably too big a staff. To be real honest with you, I don’t think she could figure out who to trust.” All the while, Palin was coping not only with the crazed life of any national candidate on the road but also with the young children traveling with her. Some top aides worried about her mental state: was it possible that she was experiencing postpartum depression? (Palin’s youngest son was less than six months old.) Palin maintained only the barest level of civil discourse with Tucker Eskew, the veteran G.O.P. operative who had been made her chief minder. A third party had to shuttle between them to convey even the most rudimentary messages. “She started to hedge her bets,” the same McCain friend says. “Frequently, she would be concerned about how something would play in Alaska. What? You’re worried about your backside in Alaska when there are hundreds of millions of dollars being spent?” One longtime McCain friend and frequent companion on the trail was heard to refer to Palin as “Little Shop of Horrors.”
More than once in my travels in Alaska, people brought up, without prompting, the question of Palin’s extravagant self-regard. Several told me, independently of one another, that they had consulted the definition of “narcissistic personality disorder” in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders—“a pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy”—and thought it fit her perfectly. When Trig was born, Palin wrote an e-mail letter to friends and relatives, describing the belated news of her pregnancy and detailing Trig’s condition; she wrote the e-mail not in her own name but in God’s, and signed it “Trig’s Creator, Your Heavenly Father.”
Election Night brought what McCain aides saw as the final indignity. Palin decided she would make her own speech at the ticket’s farewell to the faithful, at the Arizona Biltmore, in Phoenix. When aides went to load McCain’s concession speech into the teleprompter, they found a concession speech for Palin—written by Bush speechwriter Matthew Scully, who had also been the principal drafter of her convention speech—already on the system. Schmidt and Salter told Palin that there was no tradition of Election Night speeches by running mates, and that she wouldn’t be giving one. Palin was insistent. “Are those John’s wishes?” she asked. They were, she was told. But Palin took the issue to McCain himself, raising it on the walk from his suite to the outdoor rally. Again the answer was no.

seems appropriate for today

2009-06-26T10:42:00.002-04:00

one of my favorite videos of all time. ALL TIME. i can watch this over and over and over again and die laughing every time. so if you're sad about MJ, i hope this helps.

in which sanda day o'connor is delightful.

2009-06-25T07:16:00.002-04:00

trivial pursuit: terrorist edition

2009-06-22T08:36:00.004-04:00

if you're looking for some news to read today, make sure you scan the story about pulitzer prize-winnging, nyt journalist david rhode's escape from his taliban abductors in afghanistan. it involves board games(!!!), and it's pretty incredible.

from the official nyt story (the whole thing is worth a quick read):

On Friday evening, in a planned bid to keep their captors awake as late as possible to ensure that the men would eventually sleep soundly, Mr. Ludin challenged the militants who slept beside them in the same room to a local board game.
When at last the games ended at midnight, the journalists waited for the militants to fall asleep.
At 1 a.m., Mr. Rohde woke Mr. Ludin and sneaked out of the room. Mr. Ludin recited several verses of the Koran and followed him. They made their way to the second floor, and Mr. Ludin got to the top of a five-foot-high wall.
When Mr. Ludin looked down, he said, he was greeted by an unnerving view: a 20-foot drop. Mr. Rohde handed Mr. Ludin a rope that he had found two weeks earlier and had hidden from the guards. They fastened the rope to the wall, and Mr. Ludin lowered himself along the rope before unclenching his fists for good.
He crashed to the ground, leaving him with a sprained right foot and other injuries. He cut his foot, he said, pointing to his swollen and heavily bruised ankle and his bandaged big toe.
Mr. Rohde then lowered himself along the wall and jumped down without injury, Mr. Ludin said.
When asked why their captives did not hear the thump of their impact with the ground, Mr. Ludin said they waited to make the escape attempt on a night when the city had electrical power. At night, an old, noisy air-conditioner that ran masked the sound.

with added gawker commentary:

We imagine that Stephen Gaghan is probably working on the script for this right now, likely hung up on trying to decide whether or not to go with Pictionary or Trivial Pursuit: Terrorist Edition to sexy up the board game scene. Then again, Cranium can be pretty damn exhausting.

squirrel nuts over new friend.

2009-06-20T04:52:00.002-04:00

guys, i can't embed it, but go watch this video from the bbc. it is one of the cutest and creepiest things you will ever see.

picasso: drawing with light

2009-06-19T08:11:00.006-04:00

so far, the only museum i've visited here is the picasso museum, which was small, but fantastic. not by any means some sort of definitive collection -- in fact, it housed none of his major works, but it was a great showcase of the enormous variety that characterized his career. it was such a pleasant surprise to run across so many picasso pieces that resembled nothing i had ever seen before in my rather zealous museum-visiting.

this follows along the same lines. from LIFE magazine, a series of photos taken in 1949 of picasso's "light drawings." description below, slideshow of a few fantastic pictures underneath. go here to see the full versions:

LIFE photographer Gjon Mili visited Picasso in 1949. Mili showed the artist some of his photographs of ice skaters with tiny lights affixed to their skates jumping in the dark—and Picasso's mind began to race. The series of photographs that follows—Picasso’s light drawings—were made with a small flashlight in a dark room; the images vanished almost as soon as they were created.

jackson pollack totally knew kung fu.

2009-06-15T17:01:00.012-04:00

was grumpy about housing and parking logistics for next year (dartmouth, you are a bitch) but looking through these pictures made everything ok. found them yesterday when i was transferring the 6 paris pictures that i've taken off my camera. they're from a fam visit last month, and these are my cousin's kids. please note that between his obsession with kung fu, his mario bros. pjs, and his enjoyment of legos, the kid also knows how to imitate jackson pollack with crayons. i love him so much, i want to eat him.

and though i've barely taken any paris pictures (i'll get on it, i swear!) here are a few that i love:

on the cheap.

2009-06-12T05:24:00.005-04:00

much of my life these days is about living as cheaply as possible (damn unpaid internships), which normally means lots of cereal (not so bad since i'm mildly obsessed with the store brand chocolate muesli), sandwiches (again, not so bad, baguettttttttttte!), and cheap wine (riddle me this: in paris, a good bottle of wine is cheaper than a bottle of diet coke. yeah, i don't get it either.)

ok, so on the whole, trying to live cheaply in paris can still be pretty delicious (only problem: i can't afford a seat at an actual restaurant. i will be doing a lot of my eating on park benches). but just yesterday, i got to add some of my fav cultural things to my cheapy cheap lifestyle:

1. amc is streaming the season 1 pilot of mad men ("smoke gets in your eyes"). WATCH IT. it's amazing. season three starts soon, so get caught up fast.

2. fanfarlo, a great little band out of the uk, has their full album available for download for just $1 until july 4th. they kind of sound like a more accessible, poppy version of beirut and i love it.

you can listen to a bunch of songs and watch some videos (and download the album) on their website.

why didn't i stalk them last weekend?

2009-06-11T09:08:00.009-04:00

from andrew sullivan:

There's something natural about this guy that evokes real support and affection. And that bond is not fraying. In some ways, it's deepening.

i completely agree.

and a response with a slightly different tone, from the resulting IM convo with an friend who shall remain nameless:

> UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
> now i feel all pervy at work
> i can't HANDLE IT
> that is such a turn on
> hahaaa
> i know, i'm totally giggling

needless to say, i completely agree again.

a litany of good stuff.

2009-06-11T07:18:00.007-04:00

i've been horrible about updating this thing recently, but now that i'm back at a 9-6 desk job, let the procrastinerding begin!!

some fav things, in list form for today just to play catch-up:

1. cruch grassley (r-iowa, immense idiot)

hopefully, we've all been following grassley's completely foolish obama bashing on twitter. if not, wonkette says everything i want to say better than i can say it (source):

Jesus fucking christ. Remember back in 1780-something, when we had actual smart people writing our founding documents in beautiful longhand when they weren’t inventing new kinds of ploughs and bifocals and shit? Now our nation’s top legislators just type away like petulant teenage girls, with their thumbs, about how the president is so awful for spending the weekend in Paris. We are all stupider for having read this.

2. this comic is hilarious. (source)

(clickly click to make it bigger)

3. andrew sullivan's abortion series. (source)

on a far more serious note, andrew sullivan at the daily dish has been running an incredible series of personal accounts submitted by readers that really personalize the abortion debate. the entire series is well worth reading, but here's one that i thought was really incredible:

A reader writes:
One thing that helped me to rethink the abortion issue was the time I spent researching health care in the eastern D.R. Congo. It's impossible to study the health system there without confronting the rape epidemic that plagues the region.

One hospital I visited is mostly funded by overseas churches. Their supporters and workers are conservative, evangelical Protestants, many of whom you would probably classify as "Christianists." The patients in their facility are living reminders of the region's horror story. Most were violently gang raped by soldiers and have unspeakable physical and mental wounds. Staff at the hospital sacrifice a lot to repair the physical damage of rape and to provide counseling to the women who manage to get there.
They also dispense "morning after" pills. When I asked one of the directors why, I was told, "We follow the law of love." They came to the conclusion that when a dilemma doesn't present black-and-white choices, Christians have to do the most loving thing. Once they looked at it in those terms, it became clear that for an orphaned, eleven-year-old rape victim in a collapsed state with no adoption system and overcrowded orphanages, the most loving thing to do is not to force one child to deliver another who would inevitably suffer and almost certainly die. The most loving thing to do for those girls is to end potential pregnancies with grief for the horror that the living and the yet-to-be-born have to endure.
I cannot imagine facing the moral dilemmas your readers have shared this week. It's all grey. But in most of the accounts, it is clear that these women and their families did their best to follow the law of love. They chose to suffer emotional and mental anguish themselves so that their children would not have to live brief lives of pain. And that seems to me to be morally defensible.

4. ridiculous end note

guys, the tween pop star drama is really heating up these days and it is way more interesting than weekly dissertations on whether or not brad and angelina are going to get married and/or break up. i'm spending a lot of procrastinerding time reading about it, so if you're into it, let me know. i would not be ashamed to bring some of that nonsense in here.

Paris interns LAUGH in the face of DC interns.

2009-06-08T04:56:00.006-04:00

Though honestly, this would be pretty hilarious to see in person everyday.

Spotted: DC Summer Interns

The incredible blog that tracks even more incredibly ridiculous DC intern stories.

A few highlights below, but it's updated regularly and totally worth reading:

1. spotted: pizza party

Donning pink suits that would make Elle Woods proud, an intern in my office was quickly given the nickname "Tinkerbell" for her ability to flutter all around the office and wear enough bright colors and flashy accessories that she was bound to leave a glitter trail behind her.
Aside from telling us how much she spent on her daily cab ride to Rayburn because she "just couldn't do the metro," the pièce de résistance was on the Congressman's birthday.
Thinking that because it was a birthday there therefore must be a party, planned by her, she proceeded to order five pizzas for the office telling all the LA's that (unbeknownst to the Chief of Staff) there would be a birthday party in the Chief of Staff's office at lunchtime. The pizzas arrived and as we all (too late) lunged after her, she threw open the door to the Congressman's office without even a knock, open pizza box in hand, loudly announcing "Happy Birthday! We're having a pizza party in [Chief of Staff's] office!!" To which the Congressman replied (after a moment of awkward silence) something along the lines of "Oh, wow, well I think you'll have to do that without me."
2. spotted: cliff notes
Two red-badge toting interns sharing a copy of Adam Smith's Wealth of Nations...Cliffs Notes version.
I won't bother elaborating further.

look at this fucking...BLipster?

2009-05-20T15:41:00.006-04:00

the rise of the black hipster
from: slate, the root

v. ridiculous, but i love dwayne wayne reference.

highlights:

Part of the blipster look is born of utility. “You can’t really wear sagging jeans without being embarrassed on your skateboard,” says Himanshu Kumar of the band Das Racist. So pin-thin pants have joined the “Spitfire shirts and SB Dunks” named by Fiasco in his now-classic skateboarding rap as markers of the new style.

Say what you will about the blipsters and their crazy tastes—but we should have seen it coming. Black folks have had plenty of role models when it comes to edgy style. Dwayne Wayne, a character on A Different World and one of the earliest templates for today’s blipsters, wore flip-up sunglasses without irony.

we've got the vision, now let's have some fun.

2009-04-29T11:00:00.006-04:00

a few of you have asked for this, so here it is. my finals/summer music favs for your downloading and listening pleasure. these songs got me through eons of paper-writing, and together we will both move on to summer bbqs and summer internships.

kickin' it from finals to summertime
rules: no skipping songs, that's cheating.
to do: click on link to get the download link

01. my drive through - n.e.r.d., santogold, julian casablancas

02. nike boots - wale

03. live to party - the jonas brothers

04. an eluardian instance - of montreal

05. all my friends - lcd soundsystem

06. good man - josh ritter

07. moi je joue - brigitte bardot

08. noni's field - anathallo

09. cappuccino - the knux

10. dying is fine - ra ra riot

11. golden age - tv on the radio

12. the story i heard - blind pilot

13. a change is gonna come (sam cooke cover) - ben sollee

14. time to pretend - mgmt

21st century, how did you get this crazy so quickly?

2009-04-28T01:44:00.005-04:00

In case you missed the big news, Oprah started twittering last week in an effort to irritate me in all possible mediums.

I was all bitter until I saw this, which is delightful beyond words.

Randomly, I had just learned from NPR about another delightful thing that Shaq did, which I only now just remembered in the face of his internet lesson for Oprah.

Apparently, he wrote a letter for the National School Scrabble Competition saying that the participants

are showing kids everywhere that it's cool to be smart and use your brain. That it's possible to win money, appear on television and have fun in all kinds of ways.

The full All Things Considered story on the scrabble competition is here.

You can also watch this hilarious scrabble-related ESPN ad featuring Shaq, whom I now have a lot more love for than I did 10 days ago.

LIT: 209—Internet-Age Surrealistic Narcissism and Self-Absorption

2009-04-21T20:54:00.003-04:00

mcsweeney's continues to be hilarious.

the entire thing is here, the intro is below. read the whole thing, you won't be disappointed.

ENG 371WR:
Writing for Nonreaders in the Postprint Era
M-W-F: 11:00 a.m.–12:15 p.m.
Instructor: Robert Lanham

Course Description

As print takes its place alongside smoke signals, cuneiform, and hollering, there has emerged a new literary age, one in which writers no longer need to feel encumbered by the paper cuts, reading, and excessive use of words traditionally associated with the writing trade. Writing for Nonreaders in the Postprint Era focuses on the creation of short-form prose that is not intended to be reproduced on pulp fibers.
Instant messaging. Twittering. Facebook updates. These 21st-century literary genres are defining a new "Lost Generation" of minimalists who would much rather watch Lost on their iPhones than toil over long-winded articles and short stories. Students will acquire the tools needed to make their tweets glimmer with a complete lack of forethought, their Facebook updates ring with self-importance, and their blog entries shimmer with literary pithiness. All without the restraints of writing in complete sentences. w00t! w00t! Throughout the course, a further paring down of the Hemingway/Stein school of minimalism will be emphasized, limiting the superfluous use of nouns, verbs, adverbs, adjectives, conjunctions, gerunds, and other literary pitfalls.

“Why yes, I do have ironic pubic hair.”

2009-04-19T19:10:00.002-04:00

if you haven't lived in new york and experienced the joys of the L train first-hand, this may be less than absolutely hysterical. but even then, it's going to be pretty damn funny.

look at this fucking hipster
updated daily, with added bonus hilarious captions.

“You might want to stand back a little bit. Wispy mustaches are contagious.”

I just want to be a doper person which starts with me not always telling people how dope i think i am.

2009-04-15T12:09:00.002-04:00

so apparently south park made fun of kanye a few nights ago, and he responded via his blog and it is hilarious.

my personal favorites below, the full story with a link to the south park video and the blog is here at pitchfork.

SOUTH PARK MURDERED ME LAST NIGHT AND IT'S PRETTY FUNNY. IT HURTS MY FEELINGS BUT WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT FROM SOUTH PARK!

I JUST WANNA BE A DOPER PERSON WHICH STARTS WITH ME NOT ALWAYS TELLING PEOPLE HOW DOPE I THINK I AM. I NEED TO JUST GET PAST MYSELF. DROP THE BRAVADO AND JUST MAKE DOPE PRODUCT.

AS LONG AS PEOPLE THINK I ACT LIKE A BITCH THIS TYPE OF SHIT WILL HAPPEN TO ME. I GOT A LONG ROAD AHEAD OF ME TO MAKE PEOPLE BELIEVE I'M NOT ACTUALLY A HUGE DOUCHE BUT I'M UP FOR THE CHALLENGE.

If you are planning simultaneous tea bagging all around the country, you’re going to need a Dick Armey.

2009-04-14T16:53:00.003-04:00

This made me LOSE IT in the library today. So glad when the conservatives choose to be awful human beings, they do so in a way that is so easy to ridicule.

telescope eyes.

2009-04-14T15:39:00.003-04:00

source: gizmodo

We can't see most of what's in the night sky thanks to our fleshy, inefficient eyes. But what if our eyes had the power of Hubble? We'd be able to see a whole lot more.

This image is a composite of a wide region of the northern winter sky that was painstakingly put together to show just how much we're missing thanks to the limitation of our bodies.

In the shot, you see the Great Orion Nebula, the Rosette Nebula, the Seagull Nebula, the California Nebula, and Barnard's Loop. You may recognize the constellation of Orion just above the house as well.

"It's...it's nice to meet you." "TAX CUTS."

2009-04-13T12:26:00.004-04:00

more hilarity from mcsweeney's.

a day in the life of a supply-side economist.
the full thing is worth a read, a snippet below:

4:16 p.m.

Edits the Wikipedia entry
for Ronald Reagan

"As president, Ronald Reagan was known for his bold political initiatives, charismatic rhetoric, steadfast opposition to communism, dreamy blue eyes, finely sculpted pectorals, tender yet masculine buttocks, gorgeous pelvic organs that throbbed with Zeus-like potency ..."

4:25 p.m.

Edits the Wikipedia entry
for John Maynard Keynes

"John Maynard Keynes was born in PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS."

this warms my heart.

2009-04-10T13:27:00.004-04:00

from the article:

The weather was so nice in fact, that, after President Obama received his economic briefing and met with Defense Secretary Robert Gates in the Oval Office, the POTUS and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton decided to hold their 4:15 meeting out behind the White House—next to the swing set installed for the Obama girls in March.
Striding out from the West Wing, the two seemed thick as thieves—smiling, Secretary Clinton casually swung her leg over the bench on the east side of the playground, and the president grinned and waved to gawking reporters and staff as he sat down across from her.

ahoy, matey!

2009-04-09T14:17:00.004-04:00

oh, it's time for pirates. they bring so much delight into my daily news reading, and they're so fascinating. move over martha stewart and the jonas brothers, the somali pirates may just be the new focus of my free-time research.

from time magazine: why the pirates are winning the battle of the seas.

also, from time magazine's newly found ridiculousness as a mix of the economist and us weekly (which, let's be honest, i love), the top 10 audacious acts of piracy.

complete with pictures (the old chinese lady-pirate may be the scariest human being i have ever seen):

losing, or where michelle bachmann talks about obama's cultural re-education camps for children.

2009-04-08T15:12:00.000-04:00

jon stewart, marry me. no, i mean it.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

M - Th 11p / 10c

Baracknophobia - Obey

thedailyshow.com

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Economic Crisis

Political Humor

some little weasel.

2009-04-06T17:00:00.002-04:00

this is oddly catchy. and hilarious.

don't ask, because i can't answer.

2009-03-28T18:33:00.005-04:00

i don't know what this is. i only know that it is hilarious.

tweetlibrary.

2009-03-26T12:29:00.003-04:00

say you're in grad school with no time to read anything not school-related, but you miss literature like a crazy person. solution? follow @tweetlibrary on twitter (or just look at thier page with frequency). according to their own description they provide "great books edited to less than 140 letters."

favorites? below.

The Odyssey by Homer. “I do NOT need to stop for directions!” The End.

Oedipus Rex by Sophocles. “Mom?!” The End.

while you're there, you can also follow shaq. the basketball superstar. no joke.

i had the itch to fly, and i flew.

2009-03-23T00:33:00.002-04:00

back in MA, where it started snowing as soon as we crossed the state border. i'm all showered and squeaky clean and already dying to get back on the road.

nashville was delightful, at home with a friend's parents who were incredibly sweet and welcoming. we ate homemade potato salad and burgers and played peek-a-boo with little nieces off the highway amidst little creeks and green fields. heard incredible bluegrass at the station inn, which was packed and dark and where the rang a big bell every time something special happened - which on this night, was at the end of every song.

nashville was followed by a quick afternoon in louisville with a little sun and a lot of shopping, then on to dayton where anna's family was also incredibly sweet and welcoming and charming and and and. i could use happy adjectives to describe them forever. another incredible family dinner followed by a night out on the town, playing pool and listening to cover bands and then we were back on the road, heading home with too-quick stops in columbus and philly.

pictures coming soon. i'm torn between wanting to look at them, and knowing that if i look at them i'll never get any work done. as balls brown (aka rachel) said, nostalgia is a double-edged sword.

say the highway is for lovers, but it aint no friend of mine.

2009-03-17T18:51:00.002-04:00

loving loving loving this road trip. it's funny, i would have expected the long drives to make me crazy and antsy, but they're not. i feel like i'm almost back in the zone from this summer - empty minded, happy to stare out the window and think about nothing. we're been through charleston, which was beautiful, savannah, mysterious with winding streets and gorgous town squares that pop up around every corner and a population that will stare you down because they know that you're not from there. it was just about ready to thunderstorm that afternoon and it only added to savannah's mystique.

and now, we're in the ATL. atlanta is way more awesome that i had imagined it would be. adorable little neighborhoods chock-full of coffee shops and boutiques and record stores. great southern food. lovely, warm sunshine. hmmm, who knew? i am completely charmed.

tomorrow, we're off to nashville.

and we walked off to look for america.

2009-03-15T10:12:00.002-04:00

so far, so good road-tripping. lots of driving the first few days, but we've made it to charleston and so far it's the road trip that i've always wanted. alternating listening to dylan and ace of base, funk, and the hipsterist of hipster brooklyn bands. sharing childhood stories and then debating israel/palestine and the relationship between defense and development.

our hostel in charleston (called the "not so hostel") is adorable. a beautiful old house with twisted corridors and large patios. the weather isn't so great today, but that's ok. the south looks more mysterious and whimsical with a big of fog and mist anyway.

procrastinate on the road!

2009-03-13T13:47:00.003-04:00

setting off soon. woohoo! am going to try to travel blog again. here's the route, updates about grits and bluegrass coming soon.

View Larger Map

npr music sxsw sampler.

2009-03-11T00:00:00.005-04:00

as excited as i am about my dirty south road trip spring break plans (and just for the record, that is way way way excited), there is a tiny bit of me that's sad i'm not heading to austin for sxsw.

npr music, awesome as usual, has a sxsw music sampler - a set of 10 songs by artists performing at sxsw.

download them for free, love them, and then scramble to find other stuff by the same artists. how good is blind pilot (track 2), for realskis? i haven't been able to stop listening to them over the past few months.

also, it took me ages to place track 5 in the sampler, but i finally figured it out - thao (the artist) is the cousin of a friend of a friend of a friend from new york. i saw her live last year and she was super good and super nice. and, if i remember right, we all had a really charming williamsburg dinner & wine before the show. oh, the missing new york pangs are strong.

anyhoo. download these for free. love them. love npr.

to bring this back to grown-up land.

2009-03-02T00:23:00.002-05:00

slate has a super interesting article asking whether it should be defamatory to call someone "gay." i'm surprisingly conflicted on this one.

full story here, snippet below:

In most instances, there are no real damages for plaintiffs to claim in gay libel suits. Farah, who ended up not filing suit after Wikipedia fixed his entry, might have been angry that he "spent hours" on the site trying to change his bio. But being the butt of a joke hardly constitutes real damage. Cruise claimed that false allegations of homosexuality subjected him to ridicule, and he won his case by default because the defendant couldn't pay for a lawyer. But speculation about a star's sexuality—including ridicule—is par for the course for a celebrity. It's increasingly hard to imagine Cruise suffering economic harm, by losing a film role, for example, because someone claimed he is gay.

harry potter 6 preview! eeek!

2009-03-02T00:09:00.002-05:00

the vid that launched a thousand research efforts.

2009-02-28T11:20:00.006-05:00

so i've admitted to many of you that i am currently super fascinated by the crop of disney tween stars that are taking over all our normal, grown-up celebrity magazines and websites. well this the video that got me going (at first, i didn't know who the jonas brothers were really, so i looked them up. turns out it's a slippery slope. but come on, they wear purity rings AND the tightest skinny jeans i've ever seen. how is that not utterly fascinating to everyone?) . the video is old, but that doesn't make it any less adorable.

malaise de l'orange

2009-02-09T10:23:00.004-05:00

pfoo sent this over, and it is hilarious.

description from the website:

Love stories involving fruit are pretty similar to those of humans. Boy likes girl. Girl bats eyelashes (hand-drawn, in this case), gives him her digits (because oranges can write), then falls for a more debonair suitor with a goatee (a banana). Boy finds the two undressed (orange peels everywhere!), debates death (by blender), and indulges in nicotine. Luckily, this tale didn't take too dark of a turn because the banana was probably just some jerk.
Artist Alana Yuen made this video for her multimedia class, appropriately to the song "Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps" by Cake.

hmm, did she also want to be a math whiz, a marathon runner...and a tree?

2009-02-07T15:53:00.004-05:00

courtesy of huffpo, from the full interview in esquire:

Sarah Palin: But also, Bristol, Connecticut, is the home of ESPN. And when I was in high school, my desire was to be a sportscaster. ESPN was just kicking off, just getting off the ground, and I thought that's what I was going to do in life, is be one of the first woman sportscasters. Until I learned that you'd have to move to Bristol, Connecticut. It was far away. So instead, I had a daughter and named her Bristol.

Bristol Mayor Art Ward: [It's probably for the best that Palin stayed in Alaska]. You can't see Russia from here.

well, this is pathetic.

2009-02-06T14:31:00.005-05:00

obama's wooo for humanism.

2009-02-05T13:38:00.008-05:00

i've always been a bit skeptical about obama's use of faith in his campaign. but he's making me happy now.

godless watch, continued
highlights below, full text (worth reading) at the economist

READERS are going to start thinking I'm obsessed, but I think the final proof that Barack Obama plans once and for all to elevate respect for Americans who don't practice a religion came at this morning's National Prayer Breakfast:
There is no doubt that the very nature of faith means that some of our beliefs will never be the same. We read from different texts. We follow different edicts. We subscribe to different accounts of how we came to be here and where we’re going next – and some subscribe to no faith at all...
We know too that whatever our differences, there is one law that binds all great religions together. Jesus told us to "love thy neighbor as thyself." The Torah commands, "That which is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow." In Islam, there is a hadith that reads "None of you truly believes until he wishes for his brother what he wishes for himself." And the same is true for Buddhists and Hindus; for followers of Confucius and for humanists. It is, of course, the Golden Rule - the call to love one another; to understand one another; to treat with dignity and respect those with whom we share a brief moment on this Earth.

A notable repetition—not just once, rote, but twice, to let you know he means it.

way to go, RNC.

2009-02-03T11:47:00.005-05:00

the RNC appears to be gunning for a loss in 2012 as well.

getting serious about opposition
from the economist

THERE's no shortage of economist starpower on either side of the stimulus debate. Someone looking for a stimulus sceptic could turn to Greg Mankiw, or Arnold Kling, or Gary Becker. You could even get really partisan, and choose a Kevin Hassett. Sure, the guy published a book in 1999 predicting the Dow would go to 36,000, but he does have a PhD in economics. So who among these options is plugged in to conservative strategy sessions?
When GOP congressional aides gather Tuesday morning for a meeting of the Conservative Working Group, Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher – more commonly known as Joe the Plumber — will be their featured guest. This group is an organization of conservative Capitol Hill staffers who meet regularly to chart GOP strategy for the week.

Wurzelbacher, who became a household name during the presidential election, will be focusing his talk on the proposed stimulus package. He's apparently not a fan of the economic rescue package, according to members of the group.
I'm not a stimulus opponent, but if I were I'd be furious. How are you supposed to debate serious policy issues when your go-to idea man is Joe the Plumber?

reason #512 to love joe biden.

2009-01-21T18:10:00.004-05:00

the past few days have been so incredible, and there's so much to talk about, but we'll start with this highlight. biden being absolutely hilarious at john roberts's expense.

so, this isn't some sort of act?

2009-01-14T23:41:00.002-05:00

wonderful, little non-political interview with the obamas from 1996 by mariana cook, who was doing a photography project on chicago couples. the result is delightful, particularly given that they weren't posturing for any political campaign.

full article here, favorite snippets below:

Michelle Obama: There is a strong possibility that Barack will pursue a political career, although it’s unclear. There is a little tension with that. I’m very wary of politics. I think he’s too much of a good guy for the kind of brutality, the skepticism.

Barack Obama: And there are times when we are lying in bed and I look over and sort of have a start. Because I realize here is this other person who is separate and different and has different memories and backgrounds and thoughts and feelings. It’s that tension between familiarity and mystery that makes for something strong, because, even as you build a life of trust and comfort and mutual support, you retain some sense of surprise or wonder about the other person.

they're just all so smiley.

2009-01-14T23:16:00.004-05:00

in honor of my decision to head to washington to see what i can see of inauguration, a picture that makes my geeky heart go pitter-patter.

obama & j bide visit the supreme court, and apparently everyone has a gay old time:

A new study has shown that cholesterol can actually reduce your risk of a heart attack!

2009-01-12T18:20:00.002-05:00

538 mathematical super hero Nate Silver takes on conservative economist Greg Mankiw. Winner? Nate Silver, of course.

Original post here ("Intellectual Dishonesty (Gasp!) from a Conservative Economist"), all copied below:

I've referred you guys to Greg Mankiw on a couple of different occasions. He is a highly-respected economist at Harvard University who was the head of the outgoing President Bush's Council of Economic Advisers. Mankiw is a pretty good benchmark for "smart" conservative economic thought -- which, being a University of Chicago economics grad, I have a healthy degree of respect for. If Mankiw's article in today's New York Times is any indication, however, the conservatives are out of good reasons for opposing Barack Obama's stimulus.

The main problem with Mankiw's article is this:
MIGHT TAX CUTS BE MORE POTENT? Textbook Keynesian theory says that tax cuts are less potent than spending increases for stimulating an economy. When the government spends a dollar, the dollar is spent. When the government gives a household a dollar back in taxes, the dollar might be saved, which does not add to aggregate demand.

The evidence, however, is hard to square with the theory. A recent study by Christina D. Romer and David H. Romer, then economists at the University of California, Berkeley, finds that a dollar of tax cuts raises the G.D.P. by about $3. According to the Romers, the multiplier for tax cuts is more than twice what Professor Ramey finds for spending increases.

Why this is so remains a puzzle. One can easily conjecture about what the textbook theory leaves out, but it will take more research to sort things out. And whether these results based on historical data apply to our current extraordinary circumstances is open to debate.

Christina Romer, incidentally, has been chosen as the chairwoman of the Council of Economic Advisers in the new administration. Perhaps this fact helps explain why, according to recent reports, tax cuts will be a larger piece of the Obama recovery plan than was previously expected.
The paper (.pdf) Mankiw refers to, written by Berkley Economists Christina and David Romer, is the sort of thing that will make your head spin. But the gist of it is that (i) It is very important to differentiate the motivation for different types of tax cuts or tax increases, and (ii) a certain type of tax cut or tax increase may have a much larger effect on growth than is generally acknowledged.

The type of tax cut that Romer and Romer think falls into this category is what they call an "exogenous" tax cut -- one designed not to counter business cycles, but rather a "spontaneous" tax cut under relatively healthy economic circumstances.

This is very much not the type of tax cut that we are contemplating right now. Instead, what is being contemplated is a countercyclical action in an unhealthy economy designed to return the economy to normal growth. Romer and Romer are not all that keen on this type of tax cut; in fact, they argue that such "countercyclical fiscal policy is not achieving its intended purpose," and that "policymakers’ efforts to adjust taxes to offset anticipated changes in private economic activity have been largely unsuccessful". You might also have inferred this from the fact that Christina Romer, who is the chair of Barack Obama's incoming Council of Economic Advisers, released an impact assessment (.pdf) yesterday positing a much lower multiplier on a "stimulative"/countercyclical tax cut.

This is not a trivial detail. It's as if Mankiw had said...

"A new study has shown that cholesterol can actually reduce your risk of a heart attack! So stop for a Triple Whopper Value Meal on your way home -- and don't forget to supersize it!"

...but omitted the fact that the study was referring only to HDL ("good") cholesterol -- not the LDL ("bad") cholesterol likely to be found in abundance in your Value Meal.

The thing is that's really irksome is that Mankiw should know a lot better. This is not some random blogger at Townhall trying to parse a difficult economics paper and overlooking an important point of context -- this is one of the premier economists in the world. He knows very well what the Romer and Romer paper says -- and he's made a deliberate choice to misrepresent it.

In poker terms, this is what we'd call a "tell". Mankiw doesn't have anything. He's bluffing. Out of ideas. Taking one for the team, and touting the party line for shits and giggles. Except, this isn't exactly fun and games, and Mankiw should leave the discussions to people who are serious about getting our economy moving again.

-- Nate Silver at 7:58 AM

if only everyone listened to bill moyers all the time.

2009-01-10T20:55:00.004-05:00

bill moyers on the situation in gaza.

the newsweek article that he references: if obama is serious, he should get tough with israel.

BILL MOYERS: Their act of conscience could not have been more timely. For one thing, the "Washington Post" reports this week that the U.S. Army sent letters to the 7,000 family members of soldiers killed in Iraq and Afghanistan. Every letter began, "Dear John Doe." Yes, it was a mistake and the Army has now apologized. But we were reminded of the anonymity that has been conferred on America's fallen warriors whose homecoming in caskets the Bush White House has tried to keep from the public. They, their parents, spouses and children are far removed from the gaze of official Washington. The marchers along Pennsylvania Avenue this week were reminding us that every casualty, every victim of war has a name.

For too much of the world at large the names of the dead and wounded in Gaza might as well be John Doe too. They are the casualties and victims of Israel's decision to silence the rockets from Hamas terrorists by waging war on an entire population. Yes, every nation has the right to defend its people. Israel is no exception, all the more so because Hamas would like to see every Jew in Israel dead.

But brute force can turn self-defense into state terrorism. It's what the U.S. did in Vietnam, with B-52s and napalm, and again in Iraq, with shock and awe. By killing indiscriminately - the elderly, kids, entire families by destroying schools and hospitals — Israel did exactly what terrorists do and exactly what Hamas wanted. It spilled the blood that turns the wheel of retribution.

Hardly had Israeli tank fire killed and injured scores at a UN school in Gaza than a senior Hamas leader went on television to announce, "The Zionists have legitimized the killing of their children by killing our children." Already attacks on Jews in Europe are escalating — a burning car crashes into a synagogue in Southern France, a fiery object is hurled through a window in Sweden, venomous anti-Semitic graffiti appears across the continent, and arsonists strike in London.

What we are seeing in Gaza is the latest battle in the oldest family quarrel on record. Open your Bible: the sons of the patriarch Abraham become Arab and Jew. Go to the Book of Deuteronomy. When the ancient Israelites entered Canaan their leaders urged violence against its inhabitants. The very Moses who had brought down the commandment "Thou shalt not kill" now proclaimed, "You must destroy completely all the places where the nations have served their gods. You must tear down their altars, smash their pillars, cut down their sacred poles, set fire to the carved images of their gods, and wipe out their name from that place."

So God-soaked violence became genetically coded. A radical stream of Islam now seeks to eliminate Israel from the face of the earth. Israel misses no opportunity to humiliate the Palestinians with checkpoints, concrete walls, routine insults, and the onslaught in Gaza. As if boasting of their might, Israel defense forces even put up video of the explosions on YouTube for all the world to see. A Norwegian doctor there tells CBS, "It's like Dante's Inferno. They are bombing one and a half million people in a cage."

America has officially chosen sides. We supply Israel with money, F-16s, winks and tacit signals. Our Christian right links arms with the religious extremists there who claim divine sanctions for Israel's occupation of the West Bank. Our political elites show neither independence nor courage by challenging the consensus that Israel can do no wrong. Although one recent poll found Democratic voters overwhelmingly oppose the Israeli offensive by a 24-point margin, Democratic Party leaders in Congress nonetheless march in lockstep to the hardliners in Israel and the White House. Rarely does our mainstream media depart from the monotonous monologue of the party line. Many American Jews know, as Aaron David Miller writes in the current "Newsweek", that the destruction in Gaza won't do much to address Israel's longer-term needs.

But those who raise questions are accused by a prominent reform rabbi of being "morally deficient." One Jewish American activist told me this week that never in 30 years has he seen such blind and binding conformity in his community. "You'd never know," he said, "that it is the Gazans who are doing most of the suffering."

We are in a terrible bind — Israel, the Palestinians, the United States. Each greases the cycle of violence, as one man's terrorism becomes another's resistance to oppression. Is it possible to turn this mindless tragedy toward peace? For starters, read Aaron David Miller's article in the current "Newsweek". Get his book, "The Much Too Promised Land". And pay no attention to those Washington pundits cheering the fighting in Gaza as they did the bloodletting in Iraq. Killing is cheap and war is a sport in a city where life and death become abstractions of policy. Here are the people who pay the price.

That's it for the Journal. I'm Bill Moyers. We'll be back next week.

a tremendous over-achievement, even in a community of over-achievers.

2009-01-09T15:41:00.002-05:00

don't know if this is as funny for people who aren't indian, but i laughed so hard at his indian mother accent towards the end that my stomach still hurts .

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Medicine Cabinet

Barack Obama Interview
John McCain Interview

Sarah Palin Video
Funny Election Video

tweet hacking.

2009-01-05T20:23:00.003-05:00

a series of hilarious, crass, crassly hilarious twitter account hackings. my favorite? bill o'reilly:

year in review...plus barackrolling

2009-01-01T18:51:00.007-05:00

from the daily beast:

the year in pictures:

and 2008's breakthrough stars:

and, while rickrolling was one of the daily beast's breakout stars of 2008, one of my favorite political videos of the year was of john mccain getting "barackrolled."

enjoy. happy 2009!

oldies but goodies, part three

2008-12-30T22:47:00.005-05:00

from mcsweeny's, written by sarah schmelling.
"hamlet became a fan of daggers." heeeeeee.

HAMLET (FACEBOOK NEWS FEED EDITION)

Horatio thinks he saw a ghost.
Hamlet thinks it's annoying when your uncle marries your mother right after your dad dies.
The king thinks Hamlet's annoying.
Laertes thinks Ophelia can do better.
Hamlet's father is now a zombie.
- - - -

The king poked the queen.
The queen poked the king back.
Hamlet and the queen are no longer friends.
Marcellus is pretty sure something's rotten around here.
Hamlet became a fan of daggers.
- - - -

Polonius says Hamlet's crazy ... crazy in love!
Rosencrantz, Guildenstern, and Hamlet are now friends.
Hamlet wonders if he should continue to exist. Or not.
Hamlet thinks Ophelia might be happier in a convent.
Ophelia removed "moody princes" from her interests.
Hamlet posted an event: A Play That's Totally Fictional and In No Way About My Family
The king commented on Hamlet's play: "What is wrong with you?"
Polonius thinks this curtain looks like a good thing to hide behind.
Polonius is no longer online.
- - - -

Hamlet added England to the Places I've Been application.
The queen is worried about Ophelia.
Ophelia loves flowers. Flowers flowers flowers flowers flowers. Oh, look, a river.
Ophelia joined the group Maidens Who Don't Float.
Laertes wonders what the hell happened while he was gone.
- - - -

The king sent Hamlet a goblet of wine.
The queen likes wine!
The king likes ... oh crap.
The queen, the king, Laertes, and Hamlet are now zombies.
Horatio says well that was tragic.
Fortinbras, Prince of Norway, says yes, tragic. We'll take it from here.
Denmark is now Norwegian.

oldies but goodies, part two

2008-12-14T13:33:00.004-05:00

from mcsweeney's. written by john frank weaver.
i love this so so much. particularly the decepticon sneak attacks.

A LETTER TO OPTIMUS PRIME FROM HIS GEICO AUTO INSURANCE AGENT.

Dear Mr. Prime,
We have received your accident-claim reports for the month of June—they total 27. I regret to inform you that GEICO will not be able to reimburse you for any of those repairs. I feel that I have sent the same letter to you once a month for the last six months, and I am now sending it again.
Since becoming a GEICO customer in January of this year, you have reported 131 accidents, requesting reimbursement for repairs necessitated by each one. You have claimed not to be responsible in any of them, usually listing the cause of the accident as either "Sneak attack by Decepticons" or "Unavoidable damage caused by protecting freedom for all sentient beings."
The only repairs for which you were reimbursed were the replacement of a cracked fender and a headlight, required after a Mr. I. Ron Hide backed his van into your truck; these cost $1,286.63. Our own investigation concluded that you were not at fault and that Mr. Hide had been drinking prior to the accident. Though police were unable to test his blood-alcohol level—Mr. Hide claimed that it would be impossible for police to examine his blood-alcohol content with a Breathalyzer, because he "doesn't breathe"—under Washington-state law, refusal to take a Breathalyzer test is equivalent to returning a result above the legal level.
But, I repeat, those were the only repairs for which you have been reimbursed, and it was a very minor accident in comparison to your other claims. I mention a few to illustrate the larger trend:
$379,431.34 requested reimbursement for repairs to your truck cabin. You claimed the damage was caused by attacking fighter jets.

$665,789.11 requested reimbursement for repairs to your trailer. You claimed the damage was caused by a giant mechanical scorpion, which I can only assume is some amusement-park ride, although I question the wisdom of bringing your mobile home so close to such dangerous equipment.

$6,564,239.44 requested reimbursement for repairs to a truck part called the "Autobot Matrix of Leadership." You stated this occurred in "an ultimate confrontation between good and evil," with a Ms. Meg Atron and a Mr. U. Nicron causing the damage in question. Mr. Prime, I have checked every known car- and truck-part catalog published in the United States and have found nothing even resembling that part, never mind any part so expensive. Whatever disagreements you had with Ms. Atron and Mr. Nicron, I suggest that next time you either settle things peaceably or leave your Autobot Matrix of Leadership at home so it doesn't break. GEICO does not cover Autobot Matrix of Leaderships.

And the list goes on. Mr. Prime, I am going to remind you again: Your policy with GEICO only reimburses you for accidents that occur while you are engaged in the reasonable use of your truck and trailer. As I told you when you originally purchased the policy, GEICO does not offer Megatron coverage, Starscream coverage, Soundwave coverage, Decepticon coverage, or Energon-blast coverage. Those are just not the types of damages we would expect from reasonable use.
To sum up, GEICO has been unable to reimburse you for any repairs, but due to the high number of accidents you have been a party to this month, combined with the many accidents you have had in the preceding five months, your premium has increased to $235,567.50 per month. While that may seem like a lot, I remind you that it is a savings of $137 over Progressive and $98 over State Farm. Please have your check into our main office by the end of July.
Regards,
Simon Furman
GEICO Agent

oldies but goodies, part one.

2008-12-12T15:12:00.007-05:00

it's finals time, so in an effort to super procrastinate, i've dug through the archives of past procrastination efforts in order to re-live them. and, in celebration of handing in my third finals paper, i'm sharing them.

powerthirst ad: these aren't your dad's puns, these are energy puns. TURBOPUNS.

"f***ing golden"

2008-12-10T15:29:00.003-05:00

so says rod blagojevich. politico has compiled the greatest hits from his wiretap recordings. they too are f***ing golden. favorites below, full story here.

2. “F—ing golden”: The next day, Blagojevich said again that he would appoint himself to the Senate if he didn’t get what he wanted from the Obama team. “I’ve got this thing and it’s f—-ing golden,” Blagojevich says. “I’m not giving it up for f—-ing nothing. I’m not gonna do it. And, and I can always use it. I can parachute me there.”

6. Flaming PEOTUS: On November 10, Blagojevich held a two-hour conference call with several advisers, including his wife, to figure out what options he could pursue if an administration appointment didn’t work out, as looked increasingly likely. Frustrated, Blagojevich told his advisers he didn’t want to give this “motherf—-er [the President-elect] his senator. F—- him. For nothing? F—- him.”

A new option the plotters raised: getting Mrs. Blagojevich appointed to a number of corporate boards in order to rake in more cash for the Blagojevich family. According to the FBI, “Blagojevich stated that he is ‘struggling’ financially and does ‘not want to be governor for the next two years.’”

10. “Hold up” Cubs cash: Angry at some of the Chicago Tribune’s editorials, Blagojevich threatened to hold up state support for the Tribune-owned Chicago Cubs unless the newspaper reorganized its editorial board. In response to an editorial calling for Blagojevich’s impeachment, the governor’s wife told her husband: “hold up that f—-ing Cubs s—-. ... F—- them.”

Blagojevich urged Harris to approach the Tribune and tell them to “Fire those f—-ers.”

And my personal favorite:

9. White House hopes: Being governor of Illinois, possibly appointing himself to the Senate or taking on a posh private-sector gig wasn’t enough for Blagojevich, who expressed “a desire to remake his image in consideration of a possible run for president in 2016.”

even brilliant twenty-something presidential speechwriters can be idiots.

2008-12-08T15:36:00.005-05:00

this is a few days late since i've been swamped with work, but it'll never stop being hilarious. jon favreau, obama's wunderkind 27-year-old speechwriter extraordinaire had this photo show up on facebook the other day, taken during the primaries:

he's apparently "reached out to Senator Clinton to offer an apology." her team's response is also pretty great:

Favreau's case seems unlikely to be so dire; Clinton senior adviser Philippe Reines cast the photos as evidence of increased bonhomie between the formerly rival camps.

"Senator Clinton is pleased to learn of Jon's obvious interest in the State Department, and is currently reviewing his application," he said in an e-mail.

whole story here.
previous front-page nyt profile on favreau here.

word of the day: "plaxident"

2008-12-01T20:20:00.002-05:00

Main Entry: plax*i*dent
Pronunciation: [what they have, plus "pl" on front of first syllable]
Function: noun

1: An act of stupidity that costs you $35 million.

courtesy of 23/6, read the nyt story here

from rahm, with love.

2008-11-27T23:08:00.005-05:00

if true, this is amazing. happy thanksgiving, folks.

it’s a weird meta-trip watching a so-so actor play a so-so actor.

2008-11-25T14:27:00.004-05:00

In every episode this season Grenier was outacted by both Jeremy Piven and Kevin Dillon. Jason Patric showed up for one episode and blew him away. All three episodes starring Stellan Skarsgard as the tempestuous genius director Werner Vollstedt made Adrian look small. I think Grenier’s like Vince: a guy who looks like a movie star, but isn’t. It’s a weird meta-trip watching a so-so actor play a so-so actor.

one of the reasons i stopped watching entourage. and it's just kind of funny. read the rest here.

it is not ok that this gave me the shivers.

2008-11-19T16:31:00.008-05:00

i would also like to point out that world leaders have giant crushes on our new president, it's not just me. regardless, this website is hilarious. click & refresh a few times for kicks.

barack obama spent the afternoon setting up your router. barack obama saved his dessert for you. barack obama left a comment on your blog.

so the bat must retreat to his gardens...and pine.

2008-11-16T16:32:00.006-05:00

yes he can, maybe.

2008-11-16T10:44:00.003-05:00

story from the nyt about a president's lack of access to normal means of communication - the internet, email, blackberries. this really never occurred to me. can you imagine going back to only corresponding by letter? no wonder the government gets so little done.

read it here.

obama doodle.

2008-11-12T23:51:00.004-05:00

no seriously, a doodle that obama drew on the floor of the senate sold at an auction for thousands of dollars. picture of said doodle below, whole story here.

some kind of special mustache!

2008-11-12T16:58:00.002-05:00

Get the latest news satire and funny videos at 236.com.

pretty perfect political cartoon.

2008-11-06T10:31:00.004-05:00

woo! if you want to relive it...

2008-11-06T09:56:00.002-05:00

watch the video power recaps from slate. it feels pretty wonderful to relive all the things we did right and they did wrong.

here's the recap of the final week:

because hearing that obama's grandmother died today pushed me over the edge.

2008-11-03T22:06:00.003-05:00

here's a really nice column on her from a few weeks ago by the atlantic's ta-nehisi coates:

We often give a pass to racists by noting that they were "of their times." Fair enough, and I know Hawaii was a different beast, but still, today, let us speak of people who were ahead of their times, who were outside of their times. Let us remember that Barack Obama learned the great lessons of life from courageous white people. Let us speak of those who do what normal, right people should always do when faced with a child--commit an act love. Here's to doing the right thing.

full column here.

getting teary on the eve of the election.

2008-11-03T13:25:00.007-05:00

i'm a mess. can't focus. can't do work. can only obsessively check blogs and polls, and get teary over candidate profiles and endorsements. if you want to get a little weepy with me, here are a few of my favs from today:

even keel for obama in final turn to election, new york times

If there is a feeling of nostalgia surrounding the Obama campaign in these final hours before the election, it does not seem to be coming from the candidate himself. He is eager to be finished campaigning, several of his friends said, and for months has been immersing himself in the work of the presidency, well before he knows if it will ever be his.
He spends far less time on the telephone these days making political calls to local Democratic chairmen. His call list now includes officials in Washington, including Treasury Secretary Henry M. Paulson Jr., with whom he spoke several times a day for weeks about the government rescue plan. And he is in frequent conversations with Congressional leaders over how to proceed should he win on Tuesday.
On Saturday morning, Mr. Obama met for about 45 minutes in his hotel suite at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas with Senator Harry Reid, Democrat of Nevada, the majority leader. Mr. Reid said he ticked through a list of items sketched on a note card in his breast pocket.
Mr. Obama also spoke about how his life had changed, a point that was driven home on Friday night when he went to Chicago to see his daughters for Halloween and grew agitated when he felt that a group of reporters and photographers had crowded him.
“He said he likes to go out trick-or-treating, but he can’t anymore,” Mr. Reid said in an interview, recalling the conversation he had with Mr. Obama. “He said he guessed he could have worn a Barack Obama mask.”
One of the greatest frustrations of his candidacy — being away from his wife, Michelle, and his two daughters, Malia and Sasha — will come to an end, win or lose. When his plane touched down on Saturday afternoon in Pueblo, Colo., his step carried an extra lilt. It was not because of the place that he finds himself in the closing moments of his campaign, but because his two daughters were standing on the breezy tarmac waiting to be scooped up by their father.

barack obama for president, andrew sullivan's the daily dish

My great fear since 2004 is that this could have gotten even worse. Another attack and the abuse of power could have become much worse. A Romney or a Giuliani, empowered by religious fanaticism and a worship of state power, could have taken us down a path much darker than even the Cheney-Addington-Yoo cul-de-sac. Ron Paul emerged as the one Republican prepared to defend the rule of law, the Constitution and habeas corpus in the primaries. But, in the end, McCain emerged by default, a torture victim himself, and a critic of some aspects of the conduct of the war. But we saw in 2006 that, when push came to shove, even McCain acquiesced to the legalization of America's use of the very same torture techniques once used against him. And in this campaign, we have seen how no Republican candidate can escape the logic of bigotry, fanaticism and xenophobia that now grips and motivates the Republican party base. We have also learned, much more importantly, that McCain would appoint Justices to the Supreme Court who would acquiesce to and constitutionally entrench the dictatorial presidency that Bush-Cheney believe in as loyally as Roberts, Alito, Thomas and Scalia. That means we are one vote away from the court ever restraining this unchecked executive. It doesn't matter who that executive is and what party he or she belongs to. What matters is that the controls upon it - controls critical to the endurance of constitutional balance and individual freedom in America - have been frayed to the breaking point. There is no greater cause right now than repairing that.
If I were to give one reason why I believe electing Barack Obama is essential tomorrow, it would be an end to this dark, lawless period in American constitutional government.

change what you see, change what you fight for.

2008-11-02T08:17:00.006-05:00

from changefor.com

i forgot how funny mccain can be.

2008-11-02T07:46:00.006-05:00

john mccain on last night's snl.

winking: the new solution to the financial crisis.

2008-10-29T13:33:00.002-04:00

the obama campaign takes the gloves off. it's fantastic.

when did campaign videos get this funny?

2008-10-28T20:46:00.002-04:00

oh snap, chris hitchens.

2008-10-27T22:57:00.005-04:00

christopher hitchens finally goes off on sarah palin:
"This is what the Republican Party has done to us this year: It has placed within reach of the Oval Office a woman who is a religious fanatic and a proud, boastful ignoramus. Those who despise science and learning are not anti-elitist. They are morally and intellectually slothful people who are secretly envious of the educated and the cultured. And those who prate of spiritual warfare and demons are not just "people of faith" but theocratic bullies. On Nov. 4, anyone who cares for the Constitution has a clear duty to repudiate this wickedness and stupidity."
read the whole thing here.

i want to host this dinner party.

2008-10-27T22:35:00.015-04:00

14 passive-aggressive appetizers, brilliantly proposed by the new yorker. all are down below, but the original is here.

1. Top thick slices of country bread with fresh goat cheese. Sprinkle with herbs and bake until crusty; serve to everyone but Jeff.
2. Vegetarian friends? Try veggie rumaki: wrap a strip of imitation bacon around a water chestnut, spear with a toothpick, and broil—but instead of imitation bacon use real bacon, and instead of a water chestnut use veal.
3. Steal Cheryl’s famous potato-salad recipe. When Cheryl asks, “Why did you steal my recipe?,” say, “I don’t know, Cheryl, why did you break my heart?” Then laugh so she knows you’re just kidding.
4. Blend fresh crabmeat with diced avocado, scallions, and a dollop of mayonnaise for a canapé topping so delicious that it will take your guests a full minute to realize that they’re eating it off dog biscuits. Once they catch on, act mortified and stammer that you must have “mixed up the boxes,” until everyone calms down. Then start crying because the biscuits remind you that today marks exactly eight weeks since you had to put down Buster, and you just miss him so much.
5. Tell Marissa that you appreciate her concern, but in the two years since Cheryl broke off the engagement you’ve grown up a lot, and you’re really in a much healthier place now. Then say, “Speaking of fiancés, how’s Peter’s alcoholism?” (Note: This is not technically an appetizer.)
6. For a taste of the U.K., fry up mini-servings of fish-and-chips. Take it to the next level by wrapping them in small pieces of newspaper, which, oddly enough, all seem to be printed with unfavorable reviews of Jeff ’s novel.
7. Have you ever noticed how sun-dried tomatoes and top-grade peyote look exactly the same? Not a suggestion, really. Just saying.
8. Another one for the vegetarians. If they think they like tofu, wait until they sample your delicious mock tofu—all you need is chicken fat, puréed pork loin, and five cups of piping-hot tallow. Cheryl will never know the difference.
9. Tempura makes great finger food, and the batter locks the flavor of just about anything in a savory, opaque crust. Impress your friends with creative choices, from squash blossoms to mislaid car keys to the two-carat engagement ring that Cheryl gave back to you after she “reassessed things.” Surprise!
10. Guests getting antsy? Head them off with a big bowl of steamed mussels. No one can resist mussels, not even emotionally stunted ex-fiancées and their new poorly-received-novelist boyfriends. Besides, disappearing into the kitchen will give you a chance to collect your thoughts and also to go slash Jeff ’s tires.
11. Homemade sugared almonds make the perfect sendoff, sure to please all your guests, even the ones who would be bludgeoning you with a tire iron if Peter weren’t standing between you. Good old Peter. He may not be the brightest or the handsomest person, but he’s very large.
12. As the party disperses, your guests might seem a little ungrateful, calling you an obsessive sociopath or pelting you with sugared almonds. Don’t worry, it’s probably the peyote talking. Just stand on the porch as their cars pull out, your eyes brimming with tears, and shout, “You know, I try, I really do...”
13. Add, “My dog died! He died! And he’s never coming back!”
14. Hepatitis! (Note: This is not technically an appetizer.)

misses palin! i want to fly into your airspce.

2008-10-24T08:45:00.003-04:00